I have had this picture in my mind for days. It’s Christmas Eve when I was a child and my entire family would gather at one of my aunts’ homes in the Bronx. Since my mom was one of ten children there was always a huge crowd on Christmas Eve.

I can still see the Christmas tree laden with gifts for everyone which would be handed out after midnight. But it’s not the gifts I remember; rather it is the tradition our family had.  At the stroke of midnight everyone stopped their conversations or games they were playing and we all went up to each other and hugged and kissed and wished everyone a Merry Christmas. I can still see this scene as young and old gave each other a hug and best wishes for a Merry Christmas.  It was such a secure and loving atmosphere.

It’s been years since I have attended a family Christmas Eve and the family has dwindled as aunts and uncles have passed on and cousins have long since left the Bronx. Yes I remember those Christmases with fondness but the problem is I keep hoping each Christmas will make me feel the wonder of “Christmas” when I was young but they don’t.  Yes I have enjoyed many Christmases as an adult but part of me still yearns for the warmth of those large family gatherings and it has made me feel sad.

Yet as I write this post I am feeling better and know that I will now be able look back at those Christmases with fondness and not regret. Here’s to New Traditions and Memories!