Domestic Violence and Computer Security        Are You Safe?     If Not EXIT THIS SITE NOW 

Nancy's Blog 

Welcome to My Blog

I write here twice each week - Tuesday and Thursday.

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Nancy Salamone

Author and Speaker
Advocate Against Domestic Violence


Founder  of The Business of Me

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If you are in danger, please:

Call 911

Call your local hotline

Call a national hotline:
U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at
1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or
TTY at 1-800-787-3224

U.S. National Sexual Assault Hotline at
1-800-656-4673
This automatically connects you to a local U.S. rape crisis program
near your phone number's area code.

U.S. National Teen Dating Violence Helpline at
1-866-331-9474

Why I Blog 

I am Nancy Salamone. I’m a survivor of domestic violence. 

For 20 years I kept a secret from my family and co-workers. The secret was that I was physically, emotionally and economically abused by my husband. I kept this secret for 20 years - because I was ashamed.

Then on December 28, 1991 I left.  To this day I do not know the Nancy who left but I will always be grateful to that person inside me who summoned the courage to leave.

I blog here so that I might tell you my story so that women who are in a domestic violent relationship, or those who are struggling with the decision to leave - or who have made the decision to leave, know that there is a way out no matter how long it takes.

I hope that you learn from my story that not only is there a way out but – you too can create the life you want.

You are not alone!

 

 
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Fear Creates….

April 9, 2012

 

A friend of mine Stan Hustad (http://www.stanhustad.com/) says “Fear Kills Everything”. It kills your creativity - it saps your energy - it kills your logic. I know I have suffered from fear and it paralyzed me.

 

What I did not realize about fear is that it creates, according to a mentor of Stan’s, anger and selfishness. Wow! As I reflect on times when I am fearful I tend to lash out to those around me rather than face my fears. And yes I do become selfish – I don’t want to help anyone – I just want to retreat into my fear.

 

I have recently been faced with something that caused me a lot of fear. But this time rather than avoid and retreat I have faced it head-on – and I feel better. I don’t know how it will turn out but I will not allow the fear of what I think might happen consume me.

Posted 5 weeks ago

Real Heroines – Celebrating Women’s History Month

March 31, 2012

 

Today is the last day of Women’s History Month and while I don’t normally blog on weekends I could not let Women’s History Month pass and not comment.

 

Domestic violence has affected millions of women over many generations. It is women who have been at the forefront combating this social disease. These women don’t look for fame or fortune- they are doing what they believe is right and that is to help other women break the cycle of violence in their lives.

 

To all those women, whose names we don’t know, I thank you for your devotion in helping other women stay safe.

Posted 6 weeks ago

In Defense Of All Women

March 12, 2012

On Friday night I tuned into the Bill Maher show ‘Real Time ‘on HBO.  During his show there was a discussion of the vile way Rush Limbaugh treated Sandra Fluke. Mr. Maher defended Mr. Limbaugh by telling liberals in a tweet “Hate to defend #Rush Limbaugh but he apologized, liberals looking bad not accepting. Also hate intimidation by sponsor pullout.” Mr. Maher seems an unlikely defender of Rush Limbaugh, but is he?

During his show the conversation turned to the fact Mr. Maher called Sarah Palin the C-word. He rationalized it by stating he called her the C-word during his stand up show and admitted to having “potty” mouth. 

Let me be clear, I am no fan of Sarah Palin. I do not agree with her on almost everything and I truly don’t like her. She has willingly put herself on the public stage and earns her living by being a protagonist in the public square.  There are many in the main stream media (or lame stream media as Sarah calls any media outlet that isn’t Fox News) who let her know she is a political lightweight - too bad Sarah it comes with the territory and you are paid handsomely.  

I have no issue with her detractors when they call her a political moron or unintelligent.  But she does not deserve to be called the C-word just as Sandra Fluke does not deserve to be called a slut or prostitute or any of the other vile words Mr. Limbaugh used. 

It seems Bill Maher and Rush Limbaugh are no different - both have used vile terms to “bring down” women they do not agree with – and all women regardless of our political affiliation should be outraged by both of them! 

Posted 9 weeks ago

Browsing Archive: August, 2010

A Progressive Company

Posted by Nancy Salamone on Tuesday, August 31, 2010, In : About Nancy's Story 

When you think of insurance companies many people think of old fashioned stuffy organizations filled with a bunch of blue suits. In many respects that was true of the insurance company I worked for. Yet when I told the executives I worked for about the threats I was receiving from my estranged husband those executives did not hesitate to help me.

They immediately asked me for a picture of my ex-husband and gave that picture to the security deck with instructions that if this person ever tri...


Continue reading ...
 

Shame Stopped Me

Posted by Nancy Salamone on Tuesday, August 24, 2010, In : About Nancy's Story 

For many years I thought I was alone. What I mean by that is I always felt I could never ask anyone for help or advice-and I never did. Not asking for help or advice was one of the reasons I stayed in an abusive relationship for so long.

The reason I never sought help was that I was ashamed. It was not until years later I realized I had nothing to be ashamed of-he did. When I finally left the only way I was able to stay out of the relationship was to ask for help. And what I found was that n...


Continue reading ...
 

Maturing

Posted by Nancy Salamone on Tuesday, August 17, 2010, In : About Nancy's Story 

When I left my ex-husband I was thirty nine years old. He was my first and only boyfriend. I had no experience with men other than a very bad experience with him. I don’t think anyone would have been surprised if I hated men after that experience, but I didn’t. I did hate him but I didn't believe that all men were like him.

The good news was I did not hate men - the bad news was at thirty nine I had the emotional maturity of a fifteen year old when it came to men. Thank goodness I did no...


Continue reading ...
 

I Was Mean

Posted by Nancy Salamone on Thursday, August 12, 2010, In : About Nancy's Story 

My assistant Wilma, who was with me for years, almost quit one day. She told a co-worker that she could no longer stand how I treated her. This was right before I left my ex-husband. I was being downright mean to her and I didn't even realize it. I would crumble up phone messages from my ex-husband that she took when I was at meetings and dump them on her desk like her desk was a garbage pail. I had no clue what I was doing.

I was shocked when I heard that Wilma wanted to quit and could not ...


Continue reading ...
 

Little Victories Count

Posted by Nancy Salamone on Tuesday, August 10, 2010, In : About Nancy's Story 

The only victories I ever really wanted were the “big wins”. You know like getting that “big job” or the “big promotion” or winning the lottery. Well I have never won the lottery but I have small victories every day. Yup I said every day.  It’s the small victories that add up to the “big wins”.

A small victory for me is when one person buys my book or when one woman contacts me and tells me how my story has moved her to begin writing her own tales about her life and how wr...


Continue reading ...
 
 

 

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