Domestic Violence and Computer Security        Are You Safe?     If Not EXIT THIS SITE NOW 

Nancy's Blog 

Welcome to My Blog

I write here twice each week - Tuesday and Thursday.

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Nancy Salamone

Author and Speaker
Advocate Against Domestic Violence


Founder  of The Business of Me

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If you are in danger, please:

Call 911

Call your local hotline

Call a national hotline:
U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at
1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or
TTY at 1-800-787-3224

U.S. National Sexual Assault Hotline at
1-800-656-4673
This automatically connects you to a local U.S. rape crisis program
near your phone number's area code.

U.S. National Teen Dating Violence Helpline at
1-866-331-9474

Why I Blog 

I am Nancy Salamone. I’m a survivor of domestic violence. 

For 20 years I kept a secret from my family and co-workers. The secret was that I was physically, emotionally and economically abused by my husband. I kept this secret for 20 years - because I was ashamed.

Then on December 28, 1991 I left.  To this day I do not know the Nancy who left but I will always be grateful to that person inside me who summoned the courage to leave.

I blog here so that I might tell you my story so that women who are in a domestic violent relationship, or those who are struggling with the decision to leave - or who have made the decision to leave, know that there is a way out no matter how long it takes.

I hope that you learn from my story that not only is there a way out but – you too can create the life you want.

You are not alone!

 

 
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Fear Creates….

April 9, 2012

 

A friend of mine Stan Hustad (http://www.stanhustad.com/) says “Fear Kills Everything”. It kills your creativity - it saps your energy - it kills your logic. I know I have suffered from fear and it paralyzed me.

 

What I did not realize about fear is that it creates, according to a mentor of Stan’s, anger and selfishness. Wow! As I reflect on times when I am fearful I tend to lash out to those around me rather than face my fears. And yes I do become selfish – I don’t want to help anyone – I just want to retreat into my fear.

 

I have recently been faced with something that caused me a lot of fear. But this time rather than avoid and retreat I have faced it head-on – and I feel better. I don’t know how it will turn out but I will not allow the fear of what I think might happen consume me.

Posted 5 weeks ago

Real Heroines – Celebrating Women’s History Month

March 31, 2012

 

Today is the last day of Women’s History Month and while I don’t normally blog on weekends I could not let Women’s History Month pass and not comment.

 

Domestic violence has affected millions of women over many generations. It is women who have been at the forefront combating this social disease. These women don’t look for fame or fortune- they are doing what they believe is right and that is to help other women break the cycle of violence in their lives.

 

To all those women, whose names we don’t know, I thank you for your devotion in helping other women stay safe.

Posted 6 weeks ago

In Defense Of All Women

March 12, 2012

On Friday night I tuned into the Bill Maher show ‘Real Time ‘on HBO.  During his show there was a discussion of the vile way Rush Limbaugh treated Sandra Fluke. Mr. Maher defended Mr. Limbaugh by telling liberals in a tweet “Hate to defend #Rush Limbaugh but he apologized, liberals looking bad not accepting. Also hate intimidation by sponsor pullout.” Mr. Maher seems an unlikely defender of Rush Limbaugh, but is he?

During his show the conversation turned to the fact Mr. Maher called Sarah Palin the C-word. He rationalized it by stating he called her the C-word during his stand up show and admitted to having “potty” mouth. 

Let me be clear, I am no fan of Sarah Palin. I do not agree with her on almost everything and I truly don’t like her. She has willingly put herself on the public stage and earns her living by being a protagonist in the public square.  There are many in the main stream media (or lame stream media as Sarah calls any media outlet that isn’t Fox News) who let her know she is a political lightweight - too bad Sarah it comes with the territory and you are paid handsomely.  

I have no issue with her detractors when they call her a political moron or unintelligent.  But she does not deserve to be called the C-word just as Sandra Fluke does not deserve to be called a slut or prostitute or any of the other vile words Mr. Limbaugh used. 

It seems Bill Maher and Rush Limbaugh are no different - both have used vile terms to “bring down” women they do not agree with – and all women regardless of our political affiliation should be outraged by both of them! 

Posted 9 weeks ago

Browsing Archive: September, 2011

YEAH For Me!

Posted by Nancy Salamone on Tuesday, September 27, 2011, In : About Nancy's Story 

I have not only survived domestic violence but I have survived breast cancer too. Years after my divorce I was diagnosed with DCIS (Ductal carcinoma in situ).  When the doctor told me the news I was in shock. My first thought was “Why me? I don’t need another character building exercise”.  I was fortunate that it was caught early and after a lumpectomy and radiation treatment I was cancer free.

Well it’s been over 10 years since my cancer and all my mammographies have been perfect -...


Continue reading ...
 

It’s Not About Politics It’s About People

Posted by Nancy Salamone on Friday, September 23, 2011, In : About Nancy's Story 

This morning as I was walking to Dunkin Donuts to get my morning coffee I ran into a homeless man. This man was carrying 3 very large garbage bags of empty cans and bottles that he obviously had been collecting and was off to redeem them for cash. This is not the first time I have seen homeless people walking the streets of NYC with their bags of empty bottles, and it’s not just men - it’s women too.

Somehow the fact that I accidentally ran into this man has shaken me and I can’t seem ...


Continue reading ...
 

Yelling And Screaming Is Normal, Right?

Posted by Nancy Salamone on Wednesday, September 21, 2011, In : About Nancy's Story 

Many of you know that I was brought up in a large Sicilian Roman Catholic family and that the only way to be heard above the roar was to yell. Yes, I come from a long line of expert yellers. When I first met my ex-husband’s family they were also yellers and screamers.

In my world yelling and screaming was the way you showed someone how much you cared for them. In fact, my ex-husband told me once he yelled at me because he cared for me and for years I bought that. 

I now know that “yell...


Continue reading ...
 

Looking For Daddy

Posted by Nancy Salamone on Tuesday, September 13, 2011, In : About Nancy's Story 

 “You’re a girl so you are your mother’s problem” is what my dad told me when I was about 5 years old. Dad completely disengaged himself from my upbringing. He also told me that “If he had a son he could do things with a son like fishing and horseback riding”. The message was clear, I was a girl so I was not worthy of his attention.

Those words haunt me to this day. And it’s those words that subconsciously put me on a quest to find “a daddy”. I went looking for someone who...


Continue reading ...
 

The Day The Sweetness Went Out Of My Life

Posted by Nancy Salamone on Tuesday, September 6, 2011, In : About Nancy's Story 

I’m diabetic. Diabetes runs in my family and I inherited it. Type 2 diabetes runs in my family and I was diagnosed with it when I was nineteen – the same year I got married. My mom told me once after I left my ex-husband that I should have broken my leg walking down the aisle but I didn’t I got married.

A friend of mine told me once that perhaps I became diabetic in the same year I got married as that was the year the sweetness went out of my life. I don’t know about that but I do kn...


Continue reading ...
 

I’m Tuning Out

Posted by Nancy Salamone on Friday, September 2, 2011, In : About Nancy's Story 

Well the jobs report is out and the news is not good – no new jobs were added in August and unemployment remains at 9.1%. My purpose today is not to talk about the unemployment rate but to talk about my reaction to news in general.

I will admit to being a news “junkie” and I am finding that this barrage of horrible news is starting to affect my mood – I need an intervention.  I am especially sick (as I’m sure we all are) of the bickering crap that is going on in Washington D.C. on...


Continue reading ...
 
 

 

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