For years after I left my ex-husband I lived in shame. I was an abused woman who for twenty years endured abuse at the hands of my ex-husband. How horrible and how shameful.

When my divorce was finally granted I was embarrassed about the life I had lived. Because my ex-husband harassed my co-workers they knew what I had endured.  I always wondered what my co-workers thought about me. "What’s wrong with her?" "How could she stay with an abusive husband for so long?" "Why did she allow that to happen to her?" "She should have kicked his butt out the door."

As I created my new life I made very sure not to tell any new friends about how I had lived. I tried to bury twenty years of my life like it never happened. In fact I don’t have one picture of myself during the entire time of my marriage. If there are no pictures to look at then perhaps it did not happen.

Well it did happen and then one day years later (and after many years of therapy) I realized that I was not the one who had done anything wrong and that I had done nothing to be ashamed of. He did! And that was the day I began to speak out. I began to speak out because if I didn’t I felt like he'd still have control over me.

Speaking out allowed me to acknowledge the abuse I had been subjected to and finally let it go.