“You’re a girl so you are your mother’s problem” is what my dad told me when I was about 5 years old. Dad completely disengaged himself from my upbringing. He also told me that “If he had a son he could do things with a son like fishing and horseback riding”. The message was clear, I was a girl so I was not worthy of his attention.

Those words haunt me to this day. And it’s those words that subconsciously put me on a quest to find “a daddy”. I went looking for someone who would take care of me. Well I found him. He was older and handsome and he told me what to do, who I could associate with, how I should dress, demanded I give him money and when I could talk. He also intimated me, belittled me in front of family and friends, ignored me as a form of punishment, and coerced me into having sex when I was not yet ready and yelled at me daily. I found a daddy but he turned out to be the “daddy” nightmares are made of.

Before I was a victim of domestic violence I was a victim of teen dating violence. While he was not physically or financially abusive (yet) he abused me sexually and emotionally.

Teenage dating violence is a huge problem about 30 to 50% of female high school students has already experienced teen dating violence according to www.acadv.org . Our teens need to be taught the signs of teen dating violence so I urge you to pass this post on to any young women you know and hopefully my experience will help them avoid getting into an abusive relationship. Nothing less than their future happy and independent life is at stake.