One of the first things I did when I left my ex-husband was to find a therapist. Fortune smiled upon me and the therapist I found was perfect for me.

For the first two years when I was being threatened, stalked and terrorized by my ex-husband she was instrumental in helping me deal with him and his threats. When my divorce was finally over and I was secure he was not coming back into my life my therapy took a different direction.

I needed to know why I stayed in such a toxic relationship for so long. I remember the appointment when I brought up that subject with my therapist. I began the conversation by saying “I need to know why I did what I did so I never do it again”. She calmly smiled at me and said two things. First she said “Fasten your seat belt it’s going to be a rocky ride.” Then she said as she gestured with her hands around her office “In these walls there is no judgment, you can say whatever you want and no one will judge you. This is your safe place to say whatever comes into your mind and to express your feelings.”

No one had ever said that to me. I was 41 years old and for the first time in my life I was free to speak my mind and know that I would treated with kindness and understanding-and more importantly get the help I needed to understand why I did what I did.

She was right the road was often rocky but one worth traveling and with her guidance I always felt safe and secure during the journey.