My assistant Wilma, who was with me for years, almost quit one day. She told a co-worker that she could no longer stand how I treated her. This was right before I left my ex-husband. I was being downright mean to her and I didn't even realize it. I would crumble up phone messages from my ex-husband that she took when I was at meetings and dump them on her desk like her desk was a garbage pail. I had no clue what I was doing.
I was shocked when I heard that Wilma wanted to quit and could not believe that I was doing anything to cause her to want to leave. But of course I was. I had finally started to crack under the stress of my marriage and I could no longer mask the unhappiness I was feeling. The problem was that I truly never knew how my personality was changing. Up to that time I was a master at masking my feelings but I couldn't do that any longer. I felt like my skin was crawling with bugs all the time and all I could do was scratch myself.
Not long after my nasty-self showed up at work I finally left my husband. Soon after I left him I called Wilma into my office to talk to her. I told her that if I had ever done anything to hurt her I was sorry and if I ever do anything mean or unprofessional again I wanted her to tell me.
Wilma was and is a very blunt person and had no problem letting me know what I had done but she also appreciated that I apologized. Our working relationship was not only repaired but she became one of my biggest supporters and champions. Wilma and I became friends that day - a friendship that has lasted to this day.
If I did not change I might have lost Wilma and so much more. I could have lost all the credibility and respect that I had earned at work if my ugly attitude persisted. I had to leave him.
If I could be mean to Wilma I could be mean to anyone. I had hit my breaking point and it was beginning to show and it was jeopardizing everything I had achieved in my career.
