A lovely lady passed away. Her name was Barbara. Barbara was my partner’s mom. Barbara never achieved great fame or wealth but she was a loving mom and grandmother – and so much more than that.
When I first met Barbara she was at the beginning of her long painful journey through Alzheimer’s disease. She was still lucid most of the time and the social, fun-loving person inside her was still evident. Barbara lived in Los Angeles and came to stay with us in NY for Christmas. Christmas was her favorite holiday, she loved being surrounded by her family especially her son – my partner and his daughters.
Barbara loved to party and her engaging personality lit up a room. She was a great networker and I saw her personality on display when we took her to my family’s annual Christmas Eve party – my mom and aunts just fell in love with her. Barbara was able to talk about anything and kept my family entertained and they loved her stories and her.
That year during her stay with us was one of those snowy Christmases and Barbara was thrilled to see the snow and loved wearing her mink coat. She not only possessed a social, outgoing personality but she was a glamorous woman who took pride in her appearance and it showed. Even with Alzheimer’s setting in she still kept up her appearance.
Barbara and I spent one day together. It was the day after Christmas and since Barbara could not be left alone my partner asked if I would spend the day with her – and so I did.
We decided we go for a cappuccino. Now you need to know the coffee shop was down a very steep hill which was covered with ice and snow but there we went trudging down the hill. Barbara in her black stylish black high heeled boots and me in my Uggs – the good news is we did not fall and made it to the coffee shop although I’m not sure how. I remember Barbara saying “Oh my god we made it”. We both had a good laugh and had our coffee and decadent sweets. Barbara talked about how much she loved her son and how much he meant to her – and she bragged about her granddaughters – I can still hear her say “They are beautiful and so smart” – truly a very proud grandma.
After our coffee it was time to leave and we both decided to call a cab to take us one block up the hill. Barbara loved the idea of calling a cab to take us all of one block. When we got up the hill we decided it was time for lunch and I took Barbara to a lovely restaurant that had gorgeous views of the Hudson River but rather than sit by the windows we sat by the restaurant’s fireplace. We ordered lunch and yes we even ordered some wine. Barbara would enjoy a drink and there we sat and at one point she took my hand and said “I am so happy you and Maury (my partner’s name) are together.” And I replied that I was grateful that Maury had come into my life.
After lunch we went home and Barbara fell asleep on the couch but as soon as she heard the key in the door she woke up. Maury was coming home from work. Barbara got up off the coach and walked to the door as Maury came in and said “Hi Maury how was your day?” She had a huge smile on her face - her son had come home and now she could spend time with him – her day was now complete.
Rest in peace lovely lady we miss you!
