My dad and I were never close. He felt that we were girls so we were my “mom’s problem” (his words, not mine). He had little to do with our upbringing and never spent much time with us. I always felt that he abandoned us. 

Dad and I never had any “father daughter talks” nor did we ever spend much time together. I was rejected by the first male relationship I had.

It was our custom that the entire family always gathered together on Christmas Eve. On Christmas Eve 1982 we all gath...

Of course we always got presents for our birthdays. My mom always tried very hard to get us what we wanted.

On my 15^th birthday she really surprised me though. I don’t remember the gift but I do remember that she picked me up from school that day and took to me to get a work permit.  And not only did she get me a work permit she also got me a job! Mom had arranged for me to work in our dentist office.

I found that I enjoyed working. The dentist employed mostly high school and college stu...

As a small child I suffered from migraines.  I would have tremendous head pain and could not move my head or open my eyes. 

My mom took to me a lot doctors and I even had my head x-rayed.  It was a strange thing to be so small and lie on a table with a huge machine moving above my head. 

It was finally decided that I was a nervous child and was given pills to calm me down.  I am not a therapist or psychiatrist so I don’t know what really caused my migraines.  The only thing I do know is...

The treatment for HPV was laser surgery, so Dr. Zuckerman performed the surgery in his office and I was instructed to come back in two weeks to see how I was doing.

Two weeks later I was healing and he said he needed to do another PAP test in 2 months to see if the laser surgery got it all.

Unfortunately the laser surgery did not get all the infection and I had to have what is known as a “cervical conization” which is invasive surgery done in a hospital. The pain was excruciating.  

M...

The next day after I was attacked I went to work as usual but emotionally I was a wreck. As I walked along Pearl Street to my office on Maiden Lane my friend Marty saw me and started excitedly calling my name.

As Marty got closer I could hear him “Nancy, Nancy I had a dream about you last night. I dreamt that you died.” As Marty came up to me the smile on his face evaporated and he said “What happened to your neck?”

My neck had welts and bruises from where my ex-husband had choked ...

I couldn’t cook, I couldn’t clean but I could dazzle my co-workers. I was the can do person. I could do that because work was where I was treated like an adult and with respect.

One of my responsibilities was to organize and manage to company conferences. In the insurance industry conferences are the way of bringing together the company’s top producers in one location to both reward and educate them.

Part of managing a conference was to prepare and ship all the conference materials ...

About a month after we were married I invited my youngest sister over for dinner one night. My youngest sister is 6 years younger than I am, so she was 13 years old.

I had spent the day cooking. I made my own tomato sauce; I made meatballs, a salad and had purchased a dessert. I was 19 and never really cooked and I thought I did a really good job and was feeling good about the meal I made.

I felt good until my ex-husband tasted the meal and promptly declared it disgusting and threw the ent...

The 4^th of July 1992 was approximately 6 months after I had left my ex-husband. We were still battling in court.

In order to help me get my mind off my personal problems my friend Linda asked me if I wanted to spend the day with her at New York’s South Street Seaport. Each 4^th of July New York has fireworks in the harbor and this year we would spend time at the Seaport and watch the fireworks.

We found a spot that was perfect for viewing and at 9 p.m. the show began. As the fireworks wen...

February 1993 was the day I moved into my first apartment. I was finally on my own at age 39.

I got married at age 19 and lived with my ex-husband until December 28. 1991 and then I had no choice but to live with my mom for some time. February 1, 1993 was a great day. It was a snowy wintry New York City day but I was so happy.

My friend Linda helped me move. Linda had a small car and all that I had in the world fit in that little car. I only had clothes and nothing else. I had purchased a ...

The week I left my ex-husband I did 2 things. I hired an attorney and found a therapist. I’m not sure which came first but those were the first two really independent decisions of my adult life.

I had been in therapy for about 2 ½ years my divorce was finally over and I asked my therapist to help me find out why I did what I did (marry this man) as I never wanted to do that again.  My therapist was a great no-nonsense person who immediately said to me “Fasten your seat belt - this is ...

During some of my “darkest days” when I was going thru my divorce I had a lot of support from the executive officers of my company and my co-workers. One of those co-workers was my assistant Wilma.

Wilma was my assistant for 12 years. She was my confidant and she protected me very well. Yes I said protected me. Once there was an incident at the office when my ex-husband showed up unannounced at the security desk and insisted on talking to me in person.  When I left my ex-husband I had g...

The first apartment that I lived in after my divorce was a small studio in Manhattan. I was living alone and enjoying the solitude. If I wanted to eat cookies for dinner I did. If I wanted to sleep all day on a weekend I did. If I wanted to go to dinner with friends I did. If I wanted to go sightseeing in NYC I did.  If I wanted to do nothing, I did nothing. For the first time in my life I was able to do what I wanted when I wanted. That was very cool!

During one wintry Saturday evening ther...

I hate being cold. I’m not sure but there was an incident in grammar school that may explain this.

It was the routine at school that classes would line up in the yard with our class each day by a certain time. I really don’t remember what time but it was early, something like 8 o’clock.  The nuns would come open the school doors at a specific time and as we were trained to do, we would march in to our classrooms. The truth was you could set your watch to the time the doors were opened...