Domestic Violence and Computer Security        Are You Safe?     If Not EXIT THIS SITE NOW 

Nancy's Blog 

Welcome to My Blog

I write here twice each week - Tuesday and Thursday.

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Nancy Salamone

Author and Speaker
Advocate Against Domestic Violence


Founder  of The Business of Me

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If you are in danger, please:

Call 911

Call your local hotline

Call a national hotline:
U.S. National Domestic Violence Hotline at
1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or
TTY at 1-800-787-3224

U.S. National Sexual Assault Hotline at
1-800-656-4673
This automatically connects you to a local U.S. rape crisis program
near your phone number's area code.

U.S. National Teen Dating Violence Helpline at
1-866-331-9474

Why I Blog 

I am Nancy Salamone. I’m a survivor of domestic violence. 

For 20 years I kept a secret from my family and co-workers. The secret was that I was physically, emotionally and economically abused by my husband. I kept this secret for 20 years - because I was ashamed.

Then on December 28, 1991 I left.  To this day I do not know the Nancy who left but I will always be grateful to that person inside me who summoned the courage to leave.

I blog here so that I might tell you my story so that women who are in a domestic violent relationship, or those who are struggling with the decision to leave - or who have made the decision to leave, know that there is a way out no matter how long it takes.

I hope that you learn from my story that not only is there a way out but – you too can create the life you want.

You are not alone!

 

 
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Fear Creates….

April 9, 2012

 

A friend of mine Stan Hustad (http://www.stanhustad.com/) says “Fear Kills Everything”. It kills your creativity - it saps your energy - it kills your logic. I know I have suffered from fear and it paralyzed me.

 

What I did not realize about fear is that it creates, according to a mentor of Stan’s, anger and selfishness. Wow! As I reflect on times when I am fearful I tend to lash out to those around me rather than face my fears. And yes I do become selfish – I don’t want to help anyone – I just want to retreat into my fear.

 

I have recently been faced with something that caused me a lot of fear. But this time rather than avoid and retreat I have faced it head-on – and I feel better. I don’t know how it will turn out but I will not allow the fear of what I think might happen consume me.

Posted 5 weeks ago

Real Heroines – Celebrating Women’s History Month

March 31, 2012

 

Today is the last day of Women’s History Month and while I don’t normally blog on weekends I could not let Women’s History Month pass and not comment.

 

Domestic violence has affected millions of women over many generations. It is women who have been at the forefront combating this social disease. These women don’t look for fame or fortune- they are doing what they believe is right and that is to help other women break the cycle of violence in their lives.

 

To all those women, whose names we don’t know, I thank you for your devotion in helping other women stay safe.

Posted 6 weeks ago

In Defense Of All Women

March 12, 2012

On Friday night I tuned into the Bill Maher show ‘Real Time ‘on HBO.  During his show there was a discussion of the vile way Rush Limbaugh treated Sandra Fluke. Mr. Maher defended Mr. Limbaugh by telling liberals in a tweet “Hate to defend #Rush Limbaugh but he apologized, liberals looking bad not accepting. Also hate intimidation by sponsor pullout.” Mr. Maher seems an unlikely defender of Rush Limbaugh, but is he?

During his show the conversation turned to the fact Mr. Maher called Sarah Palin the C-word. He rationalized it by stating he called her the C-word during his stand up show and admitted to having “potty” mouth. 

Let me be clear, I am no fan of Sarah Palin. I do not agree with her on almost everything and I truly don’t like her. She has willingly put herself on the public stage and earns her living by being a protagonist in the public square.  There are many in the main stream media (or lame stream media as Sarah calls any media outlet that isn’t Fox News) who let her know she is a political lightweight - too bad Sarah it comes with the territory and you are paid handsomely.  

I have no issue with her detractors when they call her a political moron or unintelligent.  But she does not deserve to be called the C-word just as Sandra Fluke does not deserve to be called a slut or prostitute or any of the other vile words Mr. Limbaugh used. 

It seems Bill Maher and Rush Limbaugh are no different - both have used vile terms to “bring down” women they do not agree with – and all women regardless of our political affiliation should be outraged by both of them! 

Posted 9 weeks ago

Showing Tag: """domestic violence"" ""emotional abuse"" ""economic abuse"" ""physical abuse"" ""intimate partner violence"" ""women and money"" ""financial self-sufficiency""" (Show all posts)

“Nance, I dreamt you died”

Posted by Nancy Salamone on Wednesday, March 17, 2010, In : About Nancy's Story 

The next day after I was attacked I went to work as usual but emotionally I was a wreck. As I walked along Pearl Street to my office on Maiden Lane my friend Marty saw me and started excitedly calling my name.

As Marty got closer I could hear him “Nancy, Nancy I had a dream about you last night. I dreamt that you died.” As Marty came up to me the smile on his face evaporated and he said “What happened to your neck?”

My neck had welts and bruises from where my ex-husband had choked ...


Continue reading ...
 

I Couldn’t Cook

Posted by Nancy Salamone on Wednesday, March 10, 2010, In : About Nancy's Story 

About a month after we were married I invited my youngest sister over for dinner one night. My youngest sister is 6 years younger than I am, so she was 13 years old.

I had spent the day cooking. I made my own tomato sauce; I made meatballs, a salad and had purchased a dessert. I was 19 and never really cooked and I thought I did a really good job and was feeling good about the meal I made.

I felt good until my ex-husband tasted the meal and promptly declared it disgusting and threw the ent...


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Fireworks For Me

Posted by Nancy Salamone on Saturday, February 27, 2010, In : About Nancy's Story 

The 4th of July 1992 was approximately 6 months after I had left my ex-husband. We were still battling in court.

In order to help me get my mind off my personal problems my friend Linda asked me if I wanted to spend the day with her at New York’s South Street Seaport. Each 4th of July New York has fireworks in the harbor and this year we would spend time at the Seaport and watch the fireworks.

We found a spot that was perfect for viewing and at 9 p.m. the show began. As the fireworks wen...


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Moving Day

Posted by Nancy Salamone on Wednesday, February 24, 2010, In : About Nancy's Story 

February 1993 was the day I moved into my first apartment. I was finally on my own at age 39.

I got married at age 19 and lived with my ex-husband until December 28. 1991 and then I had no choice but to live with my mom for some time. February 1, 1993 was a great day. It was a snowy wintry New York City day but I was so happy.

My friend Linda helped me move. Linda had a small car and all that I had in the world fit in that little car. I only had clothes and nothing else. I had purchased a ...


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My Wonderful Wilma

Posted by Nancy Salamone on Friday, February 19, 2010, In : About Nancy's Story 

During some of my “darkest days” when I was going thru my divorce I had a lot of support from the executive officers of my company and my co-workers. One of those co-workers was my assistant Wilma.

Wilma was my assistant for 12 years. She was my confidant and she protected me very well. Yes I said protected me. Once there was an incident at the office when my ex-husband showed up unannounced at the security desk and insisted on talking to me in person.  When I left my ex-husband I had g...


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