The first apartment that I lived in after my divorce was a small studio in Manhattan. I was living alone and enjoying the solitude. If I wanted to eat cookies for dinner I did. If I wanted to sleep all day on a weekend I did. If I wanted to go to dinner with friends I did. If I wanted to go sightseeing in NYC I did.  If I wanted to do nothing, I did nothing. For the first time in my life I was able to do what I wanted when I wanted. That was very cool!

During one wintry Saturday evening there was a raging storm and I decided to stay home. It started in the late afternoon and was predicted to last until late in the evening.  I was basically just hanging out enjoying my alone time when it started.

All of a sudden my mind became flooded with the times my ex-husband abused me. Every incident deluged my mind in exact detail. And the worst part was they kept playing over and over again. This kept up for hours.

I tried to meditate, it did not work. I took a warm bath, it did not work. I lit candles and prayed it did not work. I did some exercise and that did not work. I then poured a glass of wine and that did not work.

I finally gave up and let the horror movie that was my old life play out in my head. The storm outside raged and so did the storm in my mind.  I finally went to bed and just allowed my mind to do what my mind was going to do.

I finally fell into a restless sleep sometime on Sunday morning and when I woke I was still exhausted. I rested on Sunday so that I would be able to function at work on Monday.

Thankfully, I never again experienced that kind of mental assault again. In fact I was much calmer person from then on.