I was 15 when I met my ex-husband. I was 16 when we had sex. Being a good catholic girl I was indoctrinated with the idea that having sex was wrong unless you were married.

After we had sex I felt that everyone could tell what I had done as if there was, like Hester Prynne in the book “The Scarlet Letter” I too had a scarlet letter on my chest that all could see. I was scared and confused and 16.

I know that sounds ridiculous but the way I was brought up influenced how I thought. And I thought I did something bad. I believe that was when I began to live with fear. Fear became my constant companion.

After we had sex our relationship turned to one of bickering and fighting. He was a moody person and I could not bring myself to break away. I look at it now and I stayed because in some way I felt I was tainted goods so who else would want me.

I married him at age 19 and the Scarlet Letter went away but not the fear.

Enough for today…..