Yesterday’s blog post “The Abyss” created a great deal of uneasiness for me. I had tension in my neck and was just in a bad rotten mood.

I kept thinking why were there no pictures of me during 20 years of my marriage? I dwelled on that until it dawned on me that I did not want to see the person I was then. I did not want to acknowledge the person I was….a victim who lived this secret life. I was completely ashamed of whom I was and I did not like that Nancy.

In my way of thinking if there were no pictures of me then that person did not exist and I could ignore her. I ignored her for 20 years until she and I could not take it anymore and left.